Seeing kids grow up to be happy, smart, confident and accomplished is every mother’s ultimate dream.
Still, every mom knows that parenting is a fulltime job and a difficult one at that.
Just like with any other job, you want to do the best you possibly can, although when it comes to parenting, you’re willing to walk not one but ten extra miles to make sure it’s done right.
After all, this isn’t just any project or task; the happiness of your most beloved human being on this earth is at stake, and it’s a lifelong process.
In order to be a true boss-mom you need to pay attention to everything – from the little, seemingly trivial things to those that are visibly monumental.
This is what great parenting is all about, and that is why we’re here today; to cover all the little and big steps that will help you guide your little one towards a bright and happy future.
Unconditional love
This is great parenting 101 and every parent is aware of this and feels this exact love, but how do you make it clear to your child that they have your unconditional love?
First of all, do it with words – in his book Do Your Kids Know You Love Them? Dr. Fred Streit thoroughly explains the impact that verbal expression of love can have on the self-esteem of your child, as well as their future relationships.
Knowing you’re living in a home where you’re surrounded by love has an incredible impact. Now, therapist and father of five, Andy Smithson tells us that “I like you” can actually be even more impactful than “I love you”, as it shows that you have a genuine interest in your kids’ words and actions.
When you think about it, it makes perfect sense – saying ‘I like you’, particularly if followed by praise of a specific action shows the child they’re appreciated every day.
Talk, but also listen
Giving guidance is your job, that’s a given. However, many parents make the mistake of projecting their own desires onto your child.
Listen to them, value their opinion on both little and huge matters. Take the time to ask them about their day, listen attentively, and respond in an encouraging way.
Your job is to lift their spirits and their self-confidence by praising their little accomplishments and console them when they’re not feeling like they’re ‘at the top of their game’. This is what constitutes quality time, aside from playing and reading stories.
Your little ones are bursting with things they want to tell you, so never shut them down by acting disinterested and giving one-word responses. This won’t only make your child feel heard, but it will model their future behavior and interacting skills and in addition to that, it helps create a stronger bond between the two of you.
Be on top of your game
Every champion superstar of a mom is aware of just how important good education is and how many doors it opens.
We all know how high the tuitions are, so it’s paramount to sit down and create a plan (both logistical as well as a financial one) and start building a fund dedicated solely to education.
In addition to that, it’s crucial to look into different options – scholarships, grants, and loans. Bear in mind that you will perhaps need additional funds.
For instance, if your child wants to go, let’s say, to a medical school, they will probably need to take a special admission test to get into one, and in that case, you should definitely consider GAMSAT tutoring. Also, make sure to work with your child’s teachers on their growth and learning progress. A boss mom is always two steps ahead of the game.
Instilling good values
Yes, it’s important to praise your children and lift their self-esteem, but if praise is all they ever get, it can be quite counterproductive for a healthy development and sense of self.
According to Paul Donahue, PhD, putting kids on a pedestal can actually hinder their growth. Yes, you should praise children when they do great things, but balance lies in also disciplining them when they do something that isn’t good or right.
Teach them that their actions have consequences, and always be consistent. If you put toys away and restrict them after an infraction once, make sure to follow through the next time, otherwise, they won’t get the message. Finally, don’t shy away from giving them small tasks appropriate for their age.
Have them pick up their toys, make their bed and when they’re older, make them a fulltime member of the family team and give them chores. This serves to teach responsibility and if will result in a huge payoff once you send them off into the world.
Parenting is about love, sometimes gentle, sometimes tough love. Make sure you always keep a perfect balance and never be too much of one thing.
