The following is a guest post by Love del Rosario, a regular reader here on Dainty Mom. Thanks, Love!
I am a semi-successful corporate mom, who has been having a nagging longing in my heart to stay at home and be with my kid (soon to be ‘kids’, because I currently have a belly bump!). We are a simple working class family, with a mortgage to pay, savings still being furnished, and home still needing minor upgrades. I thought I could keep this secret dream under wraps until my husband one day asked me the magic question – do I like to just stay at home? First, there was elation. Then trepidation. Then came the sleepless nights.
Some say I am making the best decision of my life.
Some unbelievers would say I would come crawling back to the corporate life after a few months.
I know I am not some world-class surgeon or a hot-shot criminal lawyer, but in my company, I am well-loved. And I am fairly good at what I do. From where I am, I have the power of influence.
But a crossroad is a crossroad. Either path would be great. With either decision I would have to sacrifice something.
It was way back in February that I made my decision to quit work. It took me two months to finally hand in the paper to my boss. I am currently serving my two months’ notice. See, I love my job, because honestly who does two months’ notice voluntarily? Haha. My boss keeps asking me every week if I will be retracting my resignation. Up until now I am still debating in my head: Am I doing the right thing?
Who knows what that right thing should be? I cannot even decide what the best is from my own vantage point. But I have prayed for discernment a lot. And God’s answer was pretty clear: Just do what your gut tells you to do, Love. Great, Lord. That was mighty helpful! (So much for freewill!)
Seriously though, for any moms out there undergoing the same dilemma, I say nobody can really tell you which path to take. I’ll share below some of the things that have helped me:
1. Talk to a mentor.
Someone whose opinion you truly value. Whose principles is in synch with your values . Someone who knows and understands your current family life situation. This someone could be one of your godparents during your wedding. A longtime friend. Someone from your own religious community. A trusted neighbor. You get the picture. And I suggest don’t talk to just one.
2. Read up.
I know this sounds weird, but take inspiration from women who did it ahead of you. Read up from both sides – from the point of view of career-power moms, and on the other end of the spectrum, the full time moms who had devoted their time to their families.
If you decide to stay with your job, how would your household be taken care of? Would you require some minor improvements at how you handle things (e.g., better time management skills)? If you do plan to stay at home, would you start a small business from home? Would you require as much help? So many questions that would require planning and introspection.
4. Save up.
Whether you do decide to work or quit, savings will always be an important factor.
Listen to your husband. You are a team. Value what your partner says. I always believed that if God wants to send a message for my family, he does it through my better half. On matters of principles I go to my husband.
You are doing the right thing. No matter which side you take.
5. Pray for discernment and peace.
I am still there. I am still hanging on to my job. I am still in the process of letting go or maybe not. More so now that I’ve recently just discovered that we are having baby number two. The practical side of me wants to stay at my job and give it one last ditch effort so we can save up more. But, I believe my family needs me now more than ever. It’s a totally confusing state.
Wherever this leads me to, I just know I have my family’s best intention at heart. So I trust my husband and I will make the right decision at the right time with the guidance of the Lord. I know you will, too.
Love del Rosario has ten years experience working in a corporate setting. She has always secretly longed to be a writer but instead studied Financial Engineering. Her hobby varies from cooking, traveling in a budget, party organizing, and stock investing. Her true passion is her family and books. She has recently discovered the joys of blogging and has since started documenting her rollercoaster and joyous life through The Things I Love. The blog is mostly about her son and husband.
Photo: Julia Manzerova