Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (August). For this month, we join the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action in it’s “Talk to Me!” theme where participants will share personal experiences, insights or recommendations in communicating breastfeeding intentions and goals to their support system. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants.
I come from a family of breastfeeding believers. From my grandmothers and parents to my sisters-in-law and their husbands, it’s clear that breastfeeding and other aspects of attachment parenting are on the top of our list. As a breastfeeding mom, this reality provides me with much comfort and assurance that my decision to breastfeed my son is one of the best I’ve made as a parent.
There are two things that I am most grateful for in my breastfeeding journey so far: 1) the support of my family, and 2) the receptiveness of my family towards my breastfeeding “info-mongering” (hehe). Since I started breastfeeding, I’ve read up on its many benefits, on how to eat for optimum breastmilk supply, on where to look for breastfeeding support and information. With all I’ve gained in terms of how-to’s et al, my family members have been all ears for me. I’m not a know it all or a hard-core, “preach it” type of advocate, but I do know that I 100 percent believe that there’s no substitute for breastfeeding–and I am certain that they know it, too.
There are certain breastfeeding “aha” moments that I truly cherish which enabled me to communicate my views, needs and intentions about breastfeeding. These moments involved communicating breastfeeding information both directly through conversation and indirectly through experiences. They are moments I’ve shared with my “breastfeeding support system”: my own family.
1. Sharing a key breastfeeding episode with my Mom early during my early weeks as a new mom. After she had helped me through the first three weeks of difficulties (i.e. latching problems, milk over supply, mastitis), I knew my mom was one of my number one supporters on this breastfeeding journey. She showed me how to massage my breasts to ease let down, taught me the proper way to use a breast pump, and trained me on how to freeze and use stored breastmilk. In turn, I’d update Mom on the latest breastfeeding updates and research.
When I was afflicted with mastitis, it was the only time Mom and I learned that continued nursing on the affected breast was the cure for the condition. It was something neither she nor her doctor knew back in her early breastfeeding days, when she herself developed mastitis when I was about two months old. Discovering this together was a defining moment for me, especially since I knew I was formula-fed from the time Mom had mastitis. It was comforting that, 30 years later as a mom myself, Mom could re-live her breastfeeding experience through me, as I nursed my own son.
2. Sharing breastfeeding facts and moments with my sisters-in-law and brothers. During my bout with mastitis, I remember my brothers staying overnight at my place during my worst night. They stayed to accompany Mom, who was by my side the entire time and helping me nurse Vito. They saw from the very beginning how determined I was to breastfeed. Naturally, when they themselves got married and became fathers-to-be, I continued to supply them and their wives with breastfeeding info. My goal was to get them to appreciate breastfeeding for all its benefits and commit to nurse their own children for as long as they can.
It may not seem like a lot of effort (and it really wasn’t), but communicating my breastfeeding successes to my sisters-in-law helped us bond as true sisters. We’d talk about the type of breast pads to use and shopped for nursing bras and baby slings. Today, one of my sisters-in-law is a super-powered breastfeeding and working mom, and I am totally hats-off to her for being so! I feel an amused sense of gratification every time we’re nursing our bubs together in the same room–what an awesome experience! My other sister-in-law (who is due to pop any minute) is in her nesting phase, and comfortable about asking questions regarding bottles, pumps and nurse-friendly clothes. We talk, we share, we appreciate each other.
3. Sharing breastfeeding experiences with my husband. My dear, dear husband has seen me through all the highs and lows of my breastfeeding journey. He has listened to every bit of trivia I’ve shared, gone with me to every breastfeeding-friendly event around town, and has been my official “breastfeeding nursing cover assistant” (haha) ever since. By that, I mean he’s always alert and ready to whip out my nursing cover or shawl so that I can feed my fidgety hungry baby.
Not once has my husband complained about the time, effort and commitment I’ve put into breastfeeding. In fact, when I had to return to work at the school after maternity leave, my husband was the one who stayed home to take care of Vito. He’d give him expressed breastmilk, put him down for a nap, and just be completely there for our son when I couldn’t. To this day, my husband says he will never forget those days as “baby daddy.” It was during those days that he prepared my breast pump, cleaned storage bottles and sterilized them, and on one occasion, wiping up spilled breastmilk after I had clumsily dropped 8 ounces on the floor (Yes, I still remember that time!).
In sharing my breastfeeding experience with my husband, I’ve found the determination to keep on nursing my son for as long as my son wants to.
What have these “aha” moments in breastfeeding taught me? Well, one main thing: Prudently communicating breastfeeding convictions is key to creating a breastfeeding-friendly family culture. This is key to making and keeping your support system, well, supportive of your intentions. While knowledge may be power–such as being armed with the latest breastfeeding facts–there is no greater convincing power than simply sharing your own breastfeeding experience by example. That’s because breastfeeding–like parenting and raising a child–takes a village.
You need a support system, because this type of nurturing sub-culture encourages a totally giving, open-armed type of parenting. You can do this in simple ways:
- If you’re a new nursing mom, be open to those who’ve gone before you on the motherhood journey and let them help you. Communicate that you need help, like I did, when I was having a hard time during the first few weeks of nursing.
- If you want to inspire other new moms to keep on breastfeeding, be more of a cheerleader rather than a lactivist know-it-all. Instead of ramming information down their throat, mentor other new moms by setting a good example of breastfeeding.
- If you want your spouse to support your breastfeeding journey, commit to grow together and give in to each other, especially if he is the one who wants to help you out. Teach him how to help you, as it were. In my experience, letting my husband help me was instrumental in forming his positive perception of breastfeeding.
In the end, all family members will benefit from this fellowship of information, support and nurturing. But more importantly, it is our little ones who will benefit the most, because they will be surrounded by individuals who accept and understand one another’s convictions.
Please join the other Milk Mama Carnival participants!
Wifely Steps’ On Breastfeeding: Say It, Claim It, Get Support! (Facebook and Twitter: @macaronigirl)
Truly Rich Mom’s How To Get Others to Support You in Breastfeeding (Facebook and Twitter: @tinasrodriguez)
EthanMama’s My Best Breastfeeding Support System – My Husband (Twitter: @ethanmama)
Raising Baby Lia’s A Shoutout to my Breastfeeding Buddies
Jen CC Tan’s I’m Breastfeeding, and That’s That! (Facebook and Twitter: @next9baby)
Project Blog by Kate’s Talk and Make it Happen (Facebook and Twitter: @kate_demetrio)
My Mommy Kwentos’ How I Recruited my Top Breastfeeding Buddies (Facebook)
Apples & Dumplings Communicating and First Time Breastfeeders (Twitter: @apple_dumplings)
I’m a Newbie Wife’s How I Taught My Family to Breastfeed
TouringKitty’s Communication Through Breastfeeding (Twitter: @Touringkitty)
Mec as Mom’s Pre-Natal Pediatric Consultations Are Necessary
Escie’s World’s Ready, Get Set, Go! for Breastfeeding (Twitter: @Escielicious)
Nanaystrip’s BreasTALK : Text, Retweet, Share your Knowledge and Experiences (Twitter: @bunsonimaestro)
Superwomom’s A-S-Ks (on breastfeeding questions, help, support)
Go Help Yourself’s “6 persuasion tips for breastfeeding moms and advocates”
Legally Mom’s Breastfeeding Talk Between Me and My Formula Fed Daughter (Facebook and Twitter: @legallymomPH
Handy Mommy’s Couple’s Communication and Decision: Key to Successful Breastfeeding
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom’s Effective Communication Bucket List (Facebook and Twitter: @mamababylove)
Tama ka! Napakahalaga ng support system lalo na sa mga unang linggo ng breastfeeding. Pwede kong sabihing breastfeeding-friendly ang pamilya ko lalo na ang nanay ko at tatay ni Rio na kasama ko sa bahay. Kung wala sila, tiyak super hirap para sa aming mag-ina.
Masaya akong makasama ka sa Milk Mama Diaries (August).
Hi Martine! Natapon yun 8 oz?! Ang sakit siguro non ‘no?
I remember Timmy’s old nanny carelessly thawing more than enough pumped milk when I left for work. Ang sakit sakit ng feeling! Sayang diba?
Your husband as official breastfeeding cover — hilarious! And relatable! My husband’s like that hanggang ngayon. Hooray for supportive husbands!
You’re VERY lucky you come from a family highly informed about nursing. It’s great that you and your Mom had that shared new experience. I come from a family who doesn’t know much about breastfeeding, so in a way I’m the “pioneer”. I hope I inspire the rest of my family to get into breastfeeding, should their time come. Then our family will be as illuminated as yours.
Hi, Ceemee, Tina, Cai, Mec & Jenny! Thanks for the kind words.
Yes, mom was (and is) very supportive. I suppose it is because she also learned many of the new research while I was pregnant, and it helped her support me in my own beliefs. She breastfed all three of us kids, actually; my brothers for over a year. But me only for two months because she got mastitis. Back then, wala pang research about it like we have now. So, when I had mastitis, Mom and I both learned how to effectively manage and let the condition heal through proper latching, lactation massage, etc. It was a very enlightening experience.
My mom taught me everything I know about breastfeeding, but I was also able to share with her the new research throughout the years. So, we benefited from each other. It’s great.
Martine! you are lucky to have a mom who did all those things for you! she is a rare breed! more often, they are the ones who tell the daughters to mix feed when troubles arise. Plus she was the ones to show you pa the tricks on breastfeeding!! your sisters in law are lucky to have her as a MIL!
It’s great that you were raised in a breastfeeding family! I hope we make the same for our kids.
i so love your sharing about your mom and brothers. ill rake your points to share it to my sisters when they become moms themselves
oh… i am so happy for you about having such a breastfeeding-friendly family. I think it will make more sense in the kids you’re all raising now to also choose to breastfeed someday
Love this!
Indeed, you are SO blessed to have a breastfeeding support system like this! Love that your brothers are supportive too! 
I got mastitis with Tim too! hehe. Soul sistahs or what?!! hahaha.
You are indeed very lucky and blessed to have such a support system. I want to breastfeed but I am a little apprehensive, especially because I don’t come from a breastfeeding family.