Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (July). For this month, we join the National Nutrition Council – Department of Health in celebrating Nutrition Month with the theme ”Isulong ang Breastfeeding – Tama, Sapat at EKsklusibo!” Participants will share their experiences in promoting breastfeeding or their tips on how breastfeeding should be promoted. Please scroll down to the end of this post and check out the other carnival participants.
“Practice what you preach,” so the saying goes. When you’re a breastfeeding mom, you can–and should–do no less, at least that’s how I see it! My own experience as a nursing mom has taught me several lessons in perseverance, determination and discipline. As I see it, these are the three values which permeate my experience–both past and present–as a nursing mom.
My journey as a breastfeeding mom
When Vito was born, he was immediately placed on me and made an amazing crawl for his first suckle. It was an unforgettable moment, one I had only read and YouTube-d about. And here I was living it in the flesh. It was almost supernatural.
Persevering
Of course, after that, breastfeeding became real–tiring, time-consuming, even painful. Vito nursed several times in an hour, which tired me a great deal and made my nipples sore. Thankfully, I received help and encouragement from my mom, my two grandmothers, and my OB-Gyn. They made sure I still ate properly and rested as much as I could. Even during the baby’s 4th week of life–when I developed mastitis (an inflammation of the breast due to blocked milk ducts)–my family stood by me to get me through this painful stage of breastfeeding.
Determination
I started to express milk when Vito was two weeks old, but needed to stop for about a week during the height of the mastitis. During that time, I hand-expressed the affected breast, soothed it with warm wet compresses and offered it to Vito amidst the most painful cries. I was almost tempted to quit nursing him for good then and there! If not for the support of my family and OB-Gyn, I believe I would have.
Thankfully, directly feeding Vito with the affected breast helped me heal, and breastfeeding went along fine after that. I had to maintain a regular express/pumping schedule after the mastitis episode. Up until Vito turned 6 months old, I was expressing milk every three to four hours, always after a feeding.
Discipline (and a lifestyle shift)
When the baby had his first solids, his demand for milk stayed the same, but he would refuse the bottle and only want to nurse from me. Since I still had to express milk, I made sure to offer the expressed milk to Vito during meals, mixing it in his pureed vegetables or porridge.
At first, the thought of having to be available to Vito round the clock challenged me: how would I manage a 9 to 5 job and still give my baby the milk he needed?
I had toyed with the idea of working from home ever since I found out I was going to be a mom. However, it was only during this time–when faced with the choice to keep on breastfeeding or not–that the choice became easier. And so, when Vito was almost seven months old, I quit my job as a teacher, found a job as a work-at-home copywriter for an Internet marketing firm, and started my journey as a stay-at-home, work-from-home breastfeeding mom.
Using my breastfeeding to promote it by example
As you might have picked up from my story, breastfeeding for me required a series of deliberate, conscious choices. That is exactly what breastfeeding is: a choice. Women can choose to quit or keep on breastfeeding, even after they go to work. We can choose to quit or keep on breastfeeding even after the excruciating pain of cracked nipples and mastitis. We can even choose to shift our lifestyle to accommodate breastfeeding, if that’s what we (like I) want to do.
I believe the most powerful testimony one can give is their own. In terms of breastfeeding, I believe that the best way to promote it is by example:
1. Be an example of breastfeeding: Breastfeed in public. Sometimes I feel very much alone in my choice to breastfeed. Especially nowadays with a 20-month old who loves to take milk often! When we’re out, at the mall, eating at a restaurant, at church, in a taxi, or anywhere outside the house, I still breastfeed Vito when he wants to. Sure I get strange glances from time to time, but I don’t mind.
For me, being able to breastfeed in public is a paradoxical expression; it’s my quiet yet bold expression of breastfeeding. I don’t need to engage people in dialogue when I nurse in public; they can see for themselves I’m an advocate. Just the view of me with my nursing bib and a pair of sandaled-feet sticking out the other end is enough to tell the curious public, “Yes, I’m a nursing mom,” “Yes, I believe breast is best.”
Look good while breastfeeding in public! I believe that women ought to look their best when they’re breastfeeding! It’s fortunate for us that there are lots of options these days which make breastfeeding in public easy, even fashionable! Personally, I make it a point to buy clothes which give me breastfeeding access, so I go for flowing fabrics, jersey-stretch tops and dresses, and other items (not necessarily nursing tops). I accessorize, wear nice shoes, and create an overall look that still reflects my personal style, just in a breastfeeding-friendly way!
2. Be an example of knowledge: Entertain questions about breastfeeding. Perhaps the most common statement I hear from observers these days is “Oh, so you’re still breastfeeding?” It’s either accompanied with a raised eyebrow or said in a sublimely incredulous tone (haha). I find this the perfect opportunity to respond with a question of my own: “Yes. Would you like to know how I keep on going?” I say with a smile.
Even among family members, I still find myself entertaining all sorts of questions: How long will you breastfeed? Aren’t you worried he’ll never stop? Isn’t he going to be clingy? What about his nutrition? Are you sure he’s getting enough milk? And so on. To these, I make sure I have the answers. I don’t give super-geeky answers that might turn them off, but just enough information to assure them that Vito has everything he needs, is healthy, active, and making milestones.
Be equipped with answers! The best way to answer questions about breastfeeding is to be informed with the current facts and research. My favorite resource for all things breastfeeding is kellymom.com, which is jam packed with information!
3. Be an example of prudence: Don’t “bash” formula-feeders. Don’t be an anti-formula war-freak. You won’t win any converts that way! Even if you know the risks associated with formula milk, don’t let formula-feeding moms feel guilty or not-good-enough as moms. Still, engage them in conversation and educate them about breastfeeding when the opportunity presents itself.
While I don’t agree with formula, I don’t question the ideals of those who choose to give it to their children. I know that many women feel they have to formula feed either because they have a pediatrician who instructs them that they should, or they never had access to proper lactation support and counsel. (Did you know that only 2% of women are medically unable to breastfeed? That means most women can, they just don’t.)
When formula-feeding moms ask me about why I breastfeed, I make sure to offer just my personal testimony, not my personal views against formula. Because the fact is, all mothers want the best for their babies, whether they breastfeed or not. I do, however, make sure that I lay down the benefits of breastfeeding quite clearly: it’s natural, it’s readily available, breastmilk has unique nutritional properties for my child, etc, etc. I open up the floor for discussion rather than debate.
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As a mom, I believe that breastfeeding needs to be promoted with as much efficacy as formula milk. Our country seems stuck in a time warp wherein milk formula is deemed the norm, much like during the 1950′s when artificial milk came onto the scene. And unfortunately, the public laps up the impressive ads and TVCs that play up formula milk as the silver bullet which will make your kid healthier or smarter. Thankfully, organizations such as L.A.T.C.H, Medela Moms, and other initiatives are continually working for breastfeeding awareness.
We need to lead by example, as breastfeeding mothers. We can preach all we want about the benefits of breastmilk, cite research, facts and figures, but at the end of the day, creating breastfeeding awareness or promoting it starts with me, one mom. Then, banding together as like-minded parents, living by example, our own children can be a testament to how breastfeeding makes for healthier, smarter, and most importantly, happy children.
Please visit and comment on the other Milk Mama Diaries Carnival participants!
- Breastfeeding Promotion Tips from a Formula Feeder (Yes, you read that correctly…) by The Fearless Formula Feeder:
- A Simple Breastfeeding Campaign by The Lazy Mama
- I Am A Breastfeeding Mom by The Painter’s Wife
- The Low-Milk-Supply Mommy Did It! by The Odyssey of Dinna
- On Promoting Breastfeeding by ImPerfectly Created
- Mama Milk Diaries 3 by Benz Co-Rana
- Why I Don’t Nurse in Breastfeeding Rooms by Legally Mom
- Breastfeeding Mama by canDIshhh
- I *heart* Breastfeeding by The Mum Side
- Spreading the Word on Breastfeeding by Mommy Kwentos
- A Breastfeeding Formula-Fed Mother by Soprano Mom
- Breastfeeding: Promoting It Even If I Didn’t Get Lucky The First Time Around by Glamma Momma
- Taking Breastfeeding Further by Mec as a Mom
When I started breastfeeding, I was too amazed I couldn’t stop talking about it to anyone who would listen. I had to remind myself that not everyone appreciates it. So I try as much that they start the conversation or ask about breastfeeding before I talk about it. When someone asks, I’d give as much information (based on experience) as I can from the question itself. Sometimes I am amazed at my responses because a question could be answered in one blog post. It’s that long!
While I love it that more malls are delegating a space for breastfeeding, I also sort of think that it could imply that you have to ‘hide’ to breastfeed. And while I understand that we don’t eat just anywhere, unfortunately, babies do. So, their moms should feel empowered enough to feed them anywhere.
So, yeah… I actually relish every opportunity to breastfeed in public
And yes, I know… breastfeeding stations at least have chairs
Oh my! You had to battle with Mastitis! That’s my biggest fear! KUDOS to you that you overcame it!! Good job mommy, on breastfeeding!!
#1 – I agree. We don’t need to be limited to nursing clothes. This is something that I’m just learning.
#3 – Agree, the idea is to encourage breastfeeding, not boast(and feel holy and mighty) when you’ve successfully breastfed.
That’s how I feel also. That’s why I always stress to make the INFORMED choice. If after all the information about breastfeeding and the mom still chooses to formula feed from the beginning, then that’s her choice. Let’s go after the formula milk companies, not the mothers!
I love the part when you said to look good! Correct!!! Sometimes when Basti is being fussy on the breast when I’m nursing in public, I still maintain a big smile. Haha!
You’re such a pretty breastfeeding momma, Eliza! I remember your tips for moms, wherein your hubby was supper supportive of your going to the salon, shopping, etc. Mine is, too, haha! We breastfeeders don’t have to look frumpy just because we bring our bubs along wherever we are!
I so agree with no. 3 — Don’t bash formula feeders. I was one. Due to medical/health reasons, I wasn’t able to breastfeed my firstborn. Unfortunately, I didn’t know then that there’s such a thing as relactation.
Your post actually inspired me to write a new post about my breastfeeding journey. You see, I’m a 3-in-1 mom. My firstborn was formula-fed. My second-born was mixed-fed. I was able to breastfeed her for 2 years, exclusive for the first 2 months, and then mixed when I went back to work. My third baby, who is now 10 months old, hasn’t drank a formula since birth.
Hi, Fritzie. I look forward to reading your new post about this journey!
Like you, my mom was a 3-in-1 mom, too. We three kids had different breastfeeding experiences with her. The proof is in us: My second brother, who was fully breastfed, is the most resilient against sickness! My youngest brother and I, well, we were mixed fed (I was mostly formula fed), and we have similar conditions, like we’re prone to skin asthma, allergies, etc. It really did make a difference that my mom breastfed, and I see that now because my own son is fully breastfed–at 1 yr 8 months!
Absolutely! It’s marketing, feeding on the public’s need for assurance, and wrong medical advice that makes formula so attractive. Boo!
No. 3 is right on. we don’t need more mommy wars. support is key – bash the milk manufacturers and marketing companies instead!
oh and the health professionals who give wrong advice!
On no.2, I get those questions all the time! I’m glad that I got to influence a dad in my office to convince her wife to breastfeed their 2nd baby! I guess that’s one of my ways of promoting BFing.
Yes, most women should. But I think the lesson I’d take home from that statistic is that genuine milk insufficiency isn’t all that rare, either. Let’s say the 5% figure is the correct one… well, that’s 1 in 20. That means, for example, that if your child is in an average-sized class and you’re talking to the other mothers at the school gates one day, then the odds are pretty good that at least one of them will have been genuinely unable to breastfeed. On top of that, you need to add a few more who can’t breastfeed for other reasons – a very premature baby who just never learned to breastfeed even with the best of help, HIV infection, medication incompatible with breastfeeding and for which no breastfeeding-friendly alternative was available. Oh, and I’m not sure whether that 2 – 5% covers insufficent milk supply secondary to PCOS or whether that would also add to the figures. Sure, you’re still looking at an overall minority – but it’s not a negligible minority. On average, quite a few of the women who say that they couldn’t breastfeed no matter how hard they tried genuinely couldn’t.
I guess what this means to me is that it reminds me how important it is not to make assumptions. When I heard a woman tell me that she couldn’t breastfeed, I used to think to myself about what a shame it was she hadn’t had the support and help to know that she could produce enough milk and to manage to do so. Now, I try to remind myself that maybe she’s right, and maybe she really couldn’t. I think this is why what you say – don’t judge, don’t preach, don’t bash formula – is so important, and it makes me sad when I see other lactivists jumping in with assumptions and judgements about women.
Sarah: Exactly. Because who am I to judge those who do use formula, anyway? I was formula fed from 3 months up, only my brothers really went through extended breastfeeding. Did that mean my mom loved me less? No, of course not! But she didn’t have the information we do now, and she even told me that if she did know it, she would have kept on breastfeeding me beyond 1 year.
Growing up, our parents taught us to be “all things to all men.” Basically it means we shouldn’t make assumptions about why others have a certain belief system or lifestyle. We live in a diverse world. It’s the same with breastfeeding. Like myself: Even if I have my own views on breastfeeding, attachment parenting, etc, I shouldn’t use these views as a battering ram against formula-feeders.
I don’t believe in hard-core promotion, like the term “lactivist.” I don’t respond to know-it-all efforts, lol! We can highlight the benefits and do what we can to promote breastfeeding, but we shouldn’t bring down other mothers on account of our advocacy. I know people who would question my use of a pacifier when Vito was smaller! But rather than deal with “Oh, you shouldn’t have done that” or “Your milk supply’s going to go down,” I dealt with my own lifestyle choices in the way I saw fit. It’s my life, my breastfeeding experience anyway.
You won’t win people to a cause by being uppity. You win people over when you’re compassionate. That’s how I see it, which is why I believe in simply setting a good, positive example as a breastfeeding mom.
What a great approach. I absolutely agree it’s important to give information while avoiding bashing formula feeders.
I’m curious – do you have a source for the figure that only 2% of women are medically unable to breastfeed? I’ve heard conflicting information on this one, and it’s extremely hard to establish what the actual figure is, so, if you have a source, that would be very useful. (The figures I’ve heard are higher, but I suppose it does depend on whether the figure refers to the number who are *completely* unable to breastfeed or to the number who can produce some milk but not enough.)
Hi, Sarah! Yes, I’ve heard the number shift between 2 and 5%, looking at sources and discussions from mothering.com, lactivist.net and kellymom.com. It’s only meant to illustrate a point that, based on statistics, women should naturally be able to breastfeed given that they have the proper information and education. Yes, the numbers shift between 1) women who have low milk supply, and 2) those with underlying medical conditions that affect milk production. But other than that, the fact remains that almost all women are capable of breastfeeding successfully.